A little discouraged, but not hanging my head yet

This week has not been good for the hiking/jogging. I'm not sure I can blame the weather anymore; I just don't think my leg is quite there yet. There is just no "normal" about this kind of injury; some recover fine, and some don't. I was hoping for the former, but apparently I am not Superman. That is okay, I am determined to keep giving it a try. For now, I will have to cut my hikes back to an hour because, after that, I really start feeling it. But the trail is so relaxing and it really feels good to be out there. Perhaps I will give the biking a try for a while, I just haven't been too motivated for that. I would much rather hike (or, more preferably, RUN).

Little is Much

Last weeks "workouts" looked something like this:

8/1) (AM) 1 hr. hike with occasional jog.
light pain in leg after jogging, but fine during walking.
Estimate: 3 miles

8/3) (AM) 1 1/2 hr. hike with occasional jog.
Leg/Ankle was really bothering me by the time I got back to the car.
Estimate: 5 miles

8/6) (AM) 2 hrs. hiked at a good consistant pace. No jogging.
Leg/Ankle felt bad from the beginning (perhaps change in weather) and I limped a lot.
Estimate: 7 miles

Estimate for week: 15 miles (about 4.5 hrs)


So what that I used to be able to run 15 miles for breakfast and be itching to do it again by dinner time! I am happy I can still walk, and hopefully I will never take my legs for granted again. I even got some jogging in there (not much), so I am grateful.

What I can't figure out is, am I going to have bad days every time it rains? I heard a lot of people say, "You are going to know it when rain is coming." I'm beginning to think they are right.

Anyway, I will try again tomorrow. Looking forward to being out there 2-3 hours a day. God is in control, and this ultramarathon thing has been a constant illustration of life in general: sometimes you are knocked down and have to come back in "baby steps" but the important thing is to pick yourself up and get back to work!

Back in the Saddle Again?!

Figuratively speaking, of course, because although it has been suggested many times that I take up biking for awhile, I just can't bring myself to it. There is no way it can be as gratifying as the experience of being not only in the midst of nature but feeling a part of it every time a foot hits the trail. I will probably never attempt to race again. Even if I sign up for one, it will be ONLY to complete a course and not to beat anyone. And I don't think there will be ANY pavement running when ice is involved!!!

Every step now has to be ever so careful, and occasionally it hurts pretty good. Any attempt to jog has been very brief, slow,and easy. However, I am going to start a regimen starting Monday of hitting the trail 5-6 times a week for as long as I can stand at a VERY easy pace (even if I have to walk the whole thing).

I am praying for strength and wisdom. I know God allowed me to break my leg so severely for a purpose, and I know He wants me to learn something through this experience. I have very willingly vowed to give up running/hiking for good if it be His will, but so far I don't see that it is, only that I put Him first in everything and to trust His power and might to get me through.

Thanks for the prayers and kind words, and stay tuned for some occasional posts about my progress.

Are my running days over?

On February 8, 2011, at about 7am, I tried to return to my running regimen that had been lacking for some time. After about a half mile or so, I decided the weather was too bad, and I decided I would return home. Less than a block away from my home,in fact, right across the street, I suddenly slipped on a patch of ice. It happened so fast. I heard a "pop!" and then I was on the ground, in the ice, writhing in pain.

A police officer happened to be at the intersection when it happened. He immediately rushed out and helped to support my leg which I had forced back into a straighter position, but I could not move it by itself. There was a numbness that told me "This is not good." The officer called in an ambulance and the paramedics talked me into going to the E.R.

A couple painful hours later I find myself at the E.R. telling the doctor I do not have insurance and he tells me that this is serious and that, with or without insurance, I need to have it checked out by a specialist. He tells me that the tibia and fibula bones are both cracked and there is a fragment in there that will most likely require surgery.

Another couple painful hours later, my wife and father-in-law have rushed me to an orthopedic surgeon who was able to work me in. Also realizing I have no insurance, the doctor tells me this is even worse than the original doctor had explained.

"This is the kind of injury we get when someone jumps out of a 4th-story window," he says. Then he looks at me very seriously and describes it like a shattered vase,

"If the vase breaks into a couple pieces, you can Super Glue it back together fairly well, but if it shatters into many fragments, it is nearly impossible to fix."

He goes on, "If you don't understand this, I don't really want to be your doctor...I am certain I can get you walking, perhaps even without a limp, but you won't want to be running again."

Now I am scheduled for surgery on Monday the 14th--Happy Valentines Day, Sweetie--after the swelling has had a chance to go down. I don't know what to expect, but God is in control and I have seen Him working in the situation. We never know what His purposes and plans are, but for me, might it be that I never run again? This hasn't devastated me. Of course, I think to myself that one day I might prove the doctor wrong, but at this point I will take it one day at a time, reminding myself that God may have greater things in store...